I can't have a bitch for a boyfriend...

A couple at staying at my neighbours' place last night were very intoxicated, very angry, and very loud. Randy & Diane, as we heard them call each other, went at it from around 1:15am to 2:00am and again an hour later. They were sitting in the kitchen which faces the street and the windows were wide open. They were in-your-face loud in an area that is very quiet at that time of night. 

In her own drunken, stupid way Diane was giving Randy such serious shit, just bitch slapping his sorry self. Every now and then he'd pipe up with some stupid defensive insult in a completely slurred whine. Sample conversation:

Diane: You are a total loser. I don't know why I stayed with you this long. You're a crackhead, unemployed whining bitch. And I'm not going to pay your bills.

Randy: (very slurred) You're a fuckin' loser...

Later on....

Diane: You never once bought me any little trinket to say you love me. Not a single gold trinket to say you love me. Not a single silver trinket to say you love me....

Randy: (very, very slurred) You know why I never bought nothing? 'Cause I got you high. Uh huh.

And a little later on....

Diane:You know what your problem is? I'll tell you what you problem is. You're a whiny fucking bitch. That's all you do is bitch and whine all fucking day. And I can't have a bitch for a boyfriend....

Randy: (very, very slurred) You're a fuckin' crackhead loser....

My S.O. and I couldn't help but listen as they woke us out of sound sleeps. So listen we did. And laugh. It was like having our very own private Jerry Springer show. My S.O. was surprised at just how stupid and mundane these people were. She didn't think people like that really existed.... Unfortunately, I wasn't surprised at all. But I'm cynical.... 

And I laughed my ass off at Diane's "bitch for a boyfriend" comment. Still chuckling this morning. Even the kids thought it was funny.

Seems the old adage is updated: Hell hath no fury like a women drunk....